i’m at a screening for a film by an ex-girlfriend.
the movie opens with what appears to be a town built around a swamp as it’s backdrop.
very soon it’s apparent that i’m watching a d-movie horror flick.
the cast happens to be made up of some people i know personally.
including her own mother who sports lousy un-dead make up and tattered clothing.
after the movie finishes it seems that others share my sentiments.
my actual girlfriend and i stand in between the rows of seats trashing the still warm film.
i notice my ex-girlfriend is standing within earshot of our conversation after i’d been going
on and on about it.
embarassment seeps over my body.
it starts with my head and slowly drips down like syrup until every inch is accounted for.
suddenly i’m on an airplane headed home sitting between my girlfriend & ex-girlfriend.
my ex is the only one comfortable enough to make conversation.
she goes on about a harmless magazine as she skims the articles and looks at the pictures.
in front of me sits a very obese, white, cajun, bald man with a goatee.
he isn’t morbidly obese, but more an out of shape bouncer body type.
everything he does starts to annoy us.
he is being loud, obnoxious, and completely inconsiserate of others.
i lay my head forward against his seat in hope that sleep will come to assist in my escape
from this reality.
he counters by laying his big fat bald head on my own.
somehow it is able to wrap around and lay it’s full weight on my head.
i actually try to see past this and continue on with my attempt at slumber.
after a couple minutes enough is enough and i slip my head from out below his.
i’m so angry at this point i start lashing out to get his attention by sticking an already chewed
bite from my on-flight meal to the back of his head.
as soon as he realizes he is furious.
i can’t even make out what he is yelling through his exaggerated cajun accent.
luckily for me neither can the flight attendant who’s ears perked at the sound of
his disgruntled yelling.
she threatens, “sir, we are going to have to make an emergency landing if you can not calm yourself”.
his word vomit seems to grow only louder to drown out her repeated ultimatums.
she is fed up and ends the conversation with, “we will be landing soon sir. security will be escorting
you from the aircraft”.
the man, somehow more furious, “jumps” out of his seat and storms to his overhead compartment
opposite his side of the plane.
he returns holding a rifle; screaming as does everyone else who catches sight of the weapon.
there is so much panic and he cuts through all of it heading straight for me.
his rifle leads the way as his hound sniffing out my location.
i drop out of my seat on my hands and knees begging him to not end me right then and there.
for a moment he takes the crosshairs off of me to keep my girlfriend in line.
i sieze this one opportunity and grab the barrel of his gun; pointing away from both my girlfriend and i.
we struggle for control of the firearm while walking down the aisles in tandem.
shots fire as he attempts to inch the barrel closer to my face.
an unlucky woman’s face is grazed by one of the bullets.
from all of the blood you would never guess it though.
i somehow manage to pry the gun from his hands after a long dance.
immediately i strike his head with the butt of the rifle.
i wait as he has a long fall to the ground.
as soon as he lands flat i continue my bludgeoning.
not solely out of anger, but more the fear of him getting up again to hurt my girlfriends or myself.
when i’m done the rifle looks like a chewed up straw and the man..something much worse.
i leave the scene to check up on both my girlfriend and ex.
while walking back through the aisles i see the girl who was shot is having her wounds dressed.
everyone appears to be as okay as one could be considering the circumstance.
i head back toward the mess that i made and see that the bald man’s daughters are standing over
his body as a doctor checks his obvious status.
his face looks like a blank canvas.
no eyes, nose, or mouth can be made out even with the blood wiped away.
just a shape with ears.
the doctor tells them, “it looks like there will definitely be disfigurement”, and their crying worsens.
before i can finish saying, “I’m sorry”,